Palos Verdes Residents Trisha and Ryan Paddock's Love Story Lives On
Just as the late 46-year-old Palos Verdes resident Trisha Paddock cast sunshine on those she touched and loved, her legacy continues to do the same. That happens when people do good and spread joy. But those who knew Trisha know that the love she showed and the joy she spread was not for self-glorification but for the love of mankind. Ryan Paddock, 44, Trisha’s husband, shared that her three big desires for mankind were
“equity, inclusiveness, and diversity.”Ryan stressed that Trisha’s philosophy was kindness.
On March 20, 2022, after having trained, according to the MSN news source, Trisha started running the 13.1-mile LA Marathon, representing the nonprofit Asian American Drug Abuse Program. Things looked good for the charity’s half-marathon until the finish line when Trisha collapsed. She died in the hospital on March 20, 2022, because of a heart attack. Her remaining immediate family includes her husband Ryan Paddock and their three children.
Ryan, age 19, and Trisha, age 21, met in South Africa in 1997, when they were missionaries for The Church of Latter Days Saints from 1997 – 1999. And true to form, as a rule, when two people share the same ideals and dreams, good and happiness follow. The 22-year marriage started for Trisha, age 24, and, Ryan, age 22, on Aug. 11, 2000, after they finished their mission work in South Africa.
As many couples express their love for each other on February 14, Ryan Paddock shares memories. I was the first man that Trisha kissed. We had a beautiful courtship. She told me that she wasn’t going to give away her kisses. Trisha was Miss Samoa and runner up to Miss Asia America. Putting aside beauty pageant qualities, she was a beautiful woman. Her beauty came from within. When I watched her in the hospital, she was no more beautiful. That’s when I realized that her beauty came from within. Early in our marriage, we argued about a family matter, and I made her cry. I promised then not to do that again. God counts a woman’s tears. If we treated women better, this would be a better world and there would be more happy marriages. Did I ever cheat on her? No. Our relationship was unique. If someone asked me what the secret to a good marriage is, I would reply ‘being kind’ and telling each other that you love each other. Expressing love for each other and telling each other why was key for us. About 10 years ago, she would have me hold her at night and she would say ‘Now, tell me you love me.’ And I would. Then, she would say ‘Now, tell me why you love me.’ That made all the difference. And there were so many reasons I loved her.
In a recorded audio message left for PV Magazine’s publisher Kristin Borden, Ryan shares memories and loneliness.
My kids and I have promised ourselves that no matter how lonely we are, we want others to be happy. I am grateful for Trisha and our children, but that doesn’t mean that it’s easy. I am strong and get stronger through a greater power. There are more dark days than bright days. For the first time, I am jealous of Trisha. I want to be where she is but I realize that my place is with my children, and I want the community of Palos Verdes to be for everyone. Wouldn’t that be wonderful? I won’t lie. It has been hard.
Ryan shares that he is grateful for 22 years of a good marriage and that he could go home at the end of the day where there was peace. “I’m strong and that’s what gets me through this. I’m not going to lie – it’s hard but that doesn’t mean that I’m not grateful for my circumstances. I have three good children and I hope that I don’t screw it up. If everyone, regardless of race/ethnicity, could just get along. I hope that everyone knows that Trisha was a phenomenal Mom.”
He continues that on Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, and Christmas, his family have promised that they want others to be happy.
“We get our strength from the eternal life of Jesus Christ. There are more dark days than there are bright days. The goal for me is to be with my children. I want Palos Verdes to be a place where Trisha lives on.”
One of the charitable things that Trisha and Ryan did together was taking $100 and going to Harbor City and passing out smaller bills. “Or we would buy someone a soft drink, a meal, hand out toothpaste/toothbrushes, or do another kindness. She just felt that was the best thing to do and she loved making people happy on a one-on-one basis,” Ryan comments.
Ryan shares that Trisha was all about giving everyone a fair chance and accepted the presidency of the Palos Verdes High School PTA because she wanted equity. She also served as Chairperson at the district level over diversity, equity, and inclusion. Her example of educational equity – “If a rich parent’s child goes to a university and a tutor is needed to make that happen, I want a poor person to have the
same opportunity.”
“This year, on March 19, 2023, I’m running for the LA Marathon,” Ryan says. “They are giving the money raised to equity and inclusion and are trying to raise a half million dollars.” Ryan has designed a logo and t-shirts for this year’s Team Amp, running in memory for Trisha. Anyone that wants to support and raise money for the cause can contact Ryan Paddock. Kindness and love are contagious. And as Trisha Paddock would most likely suggest – “You should always tell friends and family you love them because the future is unexpected, and everyone should know they are loved.”
“At night she would say
‘Now tell me you love me.’
And I would. Then she would say,
Now, tell me why you love me.
That made all the difference.
And there were so many reasons I loved her”.
– Ryan Paddock
